Dealing with Negative Thoughts

We truly cannot control what comes into our minds. If we become “thought police” and try to control or even worse, RESIST some of our thoughts, we are not loving and accepting ourselves unconditionally, and also we end up manifesting what we DON'T want!!

I agree there are times when absolutely, I have not been able to control my thoughts. In the past, I went through a period of time where I occasionally experienced thoughts that were completely inaapropriate to the situation I was in! In fact, the thoughts were often SO random and inappropriate they literally jolted me out of the moment and caused me to think, “Why am I having these thoughts? They are so inappropriate.” Needless to say, it was not pleasant to come to the realization that I wasn't always able to control my thoughts, and to wonder, if I wasn't the conscious author of the thought, who was?

Nevertheless, the more I practiced bringing myself into alignment with Divine Unconditional Love, the more I found that these annoying thought intrusions occurred less and less. In fact, I can't remember the last time I experienced such an intrusion – which brings me to the following comment –

The moments in the past where I experienced this temporary lack of control in my thinking were the exception, not the norm. IOW, the rest of the time, I definitely made a choice, i.e. I am going to think about this now, and I did! So, I am confused about your statement:

We truly cannot control what comes into our minds.

IMHO,  the statement would ring truer if it were –

We truly cannot always control what comes into our minds.

That said, I think you are absolutely right about not trying to resist, or judge, or give energy to the errant thoughts! Also, IMO, the original Doreen Virtue quote that sparked you to write this excellent post was referring to the thoughts we choose to have as opposed to the thoughts we have no control over when it said:

Choose your thoughts wisely at this time, ensuring that they match your desires.

Namaste,

Mathew

OM, sometimes I feel that we've to clarify what are “negative” t houghts as -“the thought that does not serve me.” And even if we can't define it, we can know whether a thought is helping us or not, at a particular time. e.g., a fearful thought may help me to wake up to a very real danger. In which case, it was a positive thought.

But if I allow it to STAY in my energy; and provide a harbor for it to call its other friends –apprehension, worry, depression and so on, then it is a negative thought that does not serve me, and I have to let it go….

Another thought that is coming in as I write this–called by my staying open to communicating with you, and also by my staying calm and clear and focused– is that you are right : a lot of the time, we can't control a thought coming to our attention.

I think of a river of thoughts that keeps flowing through us; and some, we attend to, while others we do not. Perhaps, momentary attention alone will not cause manifestation; UNLESS it is the manifestation that brought about the thought. I think you meant this too? e.g. my higher /expanded self knows it's about to stop raining, but at ego level, i don't know that, and all I get is a thought: I wish it would stop raining. And it does. And I think thought manifested, but actually it was coming events casting their shadows before them….

SO..if I think a thought, and then think it does not serve me, and I let it go; the shadow is still cast –this time, by the non-coming event, as it were. I can let it go BECAUSE “up there” I know it is not to happen.

Recently, I read that whether/not thoughts manifest, depends on which yuga the world is going through. I posted on the lIving metaphysics pod, and don't want to make this longer unless you'd like to comment on it….http://pods.gaia.com/living_metaphysics/discussions/view/357192#357653

Thanks for another incredible blog, OM [I still have to open an IE window to access yours and Eli's profiles!!]

Om and Meenakshi, thank you so much for your thoughtful responses – you both present perspectives that resonate completely, and through the process, clarify why it was that I was having some difficulty with one particular aspect of OM's original post.

Perhaps if DV had written the following statement, this discussion wouldn't have happened (though I'm glad it did, haha):

Choose the general subject of your thoughts wisely at this time, ensuring that they match your desires.

OM, you said:
 
Am I choosing a thought, or am I choosing to think about a general subject, and thoughts about it appear, but is that the same as choosing those thoughts? It seems to me that I can focus the direction of the flashlight of my thinking process, but I cannot control specifically the contents that appear in the light.

This in a nutshell is the distinction that was missing for me, I believe. The distinction that empowers us with a sense of responsibility for our thought process as opposed to a blanket acceptance that we cannot control our thoughts. Personally speaking, it has been vitally important for me to realize that I do and can control the flashlight/camera lens 99% of the time. As well, I also possess a faculty of discernement whereby some  aspect of  “me” (hopefully my higher self and not my ego) can judge the worthiness of a thought, or better stated perhaps, the loving and positive quality of a thought as opposed to the negative or harmful quality of a thought. In so doing, I can (and should) choose to redirect the flashlight/camera lens, or not. (Meenakshi expresses this perspective very well in her post.)

As for  those times when I temporarily lose the ability to redirect the flashlight, I agree it is important not to fear or worry that something unwanted will manifest. Instead, that's where spiritual practices become vitally important (i.e. prayer, meditation, chanting, what have you). And in this regard, I think it is important not only not to fear, but to embrace some form of spiritual practice that assists in releasing the flashlight from its stuck perspective.
 
Over the course of time, in my experience, diligent observance of spiritual practices have not only helped to reduce the number of times and duration of those occasions when thoughts got stuck on undesired perspectives, but also improved the quality of the discernment process that judged whether the thought was negative or positive in the first place. i.e. aligned my thoughts more and more often with my higher self, and less and less often with ego - of course, this is only my biased observation. ;-)

Guess this comment is longer than the blog. But it's all your fault, hahahahaha.

That comment of yours, OM, made me laught out loud. hahahaha

Namaste,

Mathew

OM, this is a great post – thank you!  I totally resonated with what you're saying.  The principles you're presenting are really useful for me in my work as a psychotherapist.

I'm not at all a fan of cognitive-behavioral therapy, which basically says (I'm really reducing it here – I know it's more complicated)  we need to change our thoughts so that our feelings will change.  What I've found is that in the long run, this type of approach, with it's agenda to change certain thoughts (the “bad” ones), creates resistance.  What's more, it creates self-alienation, whereby a person starts valuing certain aspects of themselves (e.g., certain types of thoughts) as better or worse than other aspects.  It creates an internal struggle (all in the name of the “higher good”).  It's like a conditional self-love, which is very precarious.  In this model, self-acceptance depends on things within oneself being a certain way. 

What I've found is that if rather than trying to have people change their thoughts (e.g., negative into positive), I can help them change their relationship to those thoughts, they develop a lasting, more unconditional peace and self-acceptance.  The idea, of course, being not to identify with the thoughts (e.g., juicing them up, believing/buying into their content/storyline, or paying a lot of attention to them) nor to disown or dismiss the thoughts (suppressing them, ignoring them, trying to refute them).  But instead, to develop a compassionate witness stance from which to observe the thoughts.  From this place, the internal mechanism seems to self-regulate, and unhelpful thoughts, although they may not disappear, sooner or later lose their power.  As this practice continues, the process becomes smoother and more automatic, happening without so much conscious effort.  And the issue of “choosing our thoughts,” with its implications of ego-based control, is a moot point.

This compassionate awareness stance amounts to an unconditional self-love that is not afraid of our “negative” parts.  It steps out of the dualistic struggle between “positive” and “negative” and is able to dance with all the parts of ourselves, not in a small, contracted, fear-based (e.g., identified with, controlling, avoidant or dismissive) way, but in an expansive, inclusive, love-based way.

Thank you for this discussion, OM. Please know that by engaging in this discussion, I too am not trying to win an argument or to change anyone's belief or perspective, I am simply striving to learn something. Furthermore, although I was drawn into this discussion because of the assertion that one cannot control one's thoughts, the discussion that followed has led me to re-examine my thoughts regarding the original premise:

Do we really need to control and avoid our negative thoughts, out of fear they will manifest? If we believe our thoughts create our reality, then we get into becoming “thought police” on our minds. This is not comfortable. In fact I believe it's counterproductive.

In the re-examination of my thoughts and comments, it seems that I have been making a case for a belief that we do in fact need to control our negative thoughts, but not out of fear that they will manifest, but because in my experience this method has been a most expedient way to inner peace. Perhaps I should explain that I have been through a long personal journey in which I overcame decades of debilitating negativity (principally depression, frustration, and anger) – but the recovery only began eight years ago after my Higher Self (or Spirit Guide/Guardian Angel if you prefer) made itself known to me, infiltrating my negative mindset with helpful channeled suggestions such as:

“You have to believe in yourself first. That is the only thing you need to remember. Think about yourself in only good light and good will come your way; think in negative thoughts and you will create these realities for yourself.”  (Note: The underlines are mine.)

One of my recently adopted hero's, Mahatma Gandhi, once said, “Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”  He also said, “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”

In a similar vein, Buddha once said, “As the Fletcher whittles and makes straight his arrows, so the master directs his straying thoughts.” And as well, “The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character; So watch the thought and its ways with care, And let it spring from love Born out of concern for all beings… As the shadow follows the body, As we think, so we become.”  

Thus, in response to your original premise, I found myself wondering, Could there have been other ways I could have transformed my life that may have been easier (less uncomfortable) and yet equally expedient and efficacious? And are you advocating one of those ways?

Unfortunately, I find myself faced with too many stumbling blocks to answer that last question. First of all, we seem to have agreed that we can in fact control the general subject of our thoughts. So where does that leave us with respect to your original contention? Second, I am not convinced that by monitoring one's negative thoughts and countering with positive thoughts one is not being unconditionally loving of one's self. I do this, and I am certain that such a process does not feel unloving to me. Also, I monitor and offer positive counter-suggestions when confronted with my children's negative thoughts (when they vocalize them). And I don't believe that I am for a second displaying anything but unconditional love to my children in the way that I do this. In my understanding, unconditional love does not mean a blanket acceptance of everything we experience without the need for action. To the contrary, unconditional love in the face of negativity (fear, hatred, violence, jealousy, etc.) often requires the respectful and careful administration of some form of corrective or countering measure. 

OM, you provide a few tricks on how to deal with negative thoughts, such as coming to regard them as not reality, or even, shifting one's awareness to a higher perspective, accepting that everything is exactly as it should be, and thus, not to worry. I think both of these tricks are excellent - in fact, I have used both of them at times with success (IMHO). However, in both cases, in order to employ such tricks, mustn't one first be aware of one's thoughts (i.e. monitor one's thoughts) as they are occurring? IOW, in order to be able to step in and say to oneself, don't worry, these thoughts aren't real, or don't worry, contrary to these thoughts I'm having that are causing me fear, everything is actually in Divine perfect order, mustn't one first be in a state of self-observation, in order to realize that now is the time to employ these tricks?

Tely spoke about being a compassionate witness to one's thoughts - and again, I'm sorry, but I don't understand how this concept might work when faced with dangerous negativity such as a suicidal person, or a person harboring murderous impulses. If I were that (ill) person, I would hope my therapist was a compassionate witness to my thoughts and feelings, however, I can't see how advising me to be a compassionate witness to my own (negative) thoughts is going to be helpful without at the same time teaching me to monitor my thoughts and offering some form of counter programming to balance the negative thinking. And by counter-programming, I don't mean programming designed to change my thoughts as Tely seemed to suggest - I mean simply to counter-balance them with opposing positive thoughts. As well, I would expect that measures would need to be taken to help me to understand some possible root cause(s) of my negativity in an effort to help release me from the shackles of my past and to help me to shift my thinking into the Now where a new and positive way forward can be encouraged to take hold.

Sorry for the long post. I hope my thoughts have made sense. Either way, I would like to thank you all for engaging in this discussion thus far – and would gratefully encourage further discussion.

Namaste,

Mathew

I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I am here and following this most interesting blog. At the moment I don't feel I want to add anything for I'm in the midst of observing what goes on within my own emotional and thought field, but I do want to share my appreciation.

Matthew, I appreciate the thoughtfulness and thoroughness of your last post.  I'll try to respond thoughtfully and thoroughly as well.

In the re-examination of my thoughts and comments, it seems that I have been making a case for a belief that we do in fact need to control our negative thoughts, but not out of fear that they will manifest, but because in my experience this method has been a most expedient way to inner peace.

The way I see it, controlling our negative thoughts may provide some immediate, temporary relief, somewhat like a band-aid.  But it the long run/bigger picture, it creates more problems than it solves in that it creates internal fighting – a dualism of good vs. bad thoughts.  It's a win/lose game, and even if the positive thoughts win, the person having the thoughts loses, because the negative thoughts, which lose, are a part of that person, too.  So the idea is not to get into a control battle with our internal experiences – neither for us to try to control them nor to let them control us.  Thus, we don't identify with our negative thoughts, which would be the equivalent of letting them control us, nor do we try to change them, which would be the equivalent of us trying to control them.  When we experience “negative” thoughts (and I'm using quotes here to indicate that even categorizing thoughts as negative is taking a somewhat antagonistic attitude towards them), we step back and take a compassionately aware stance.  In that process, we become dis-identified with our negative thoughts.  And the nonjudgmental acceptance that we bring to them is in itself a positive, love-based force that allows a shift in our relationship to the negative thoughts.  For instance, the negative thoughts/feelings might become stir up some compassion for oneself, rather than a process where we're fearing those aspects of ourselves.  Ultimately, this creates a much more stable, equanimous inner peace than the process of trying conquer the negative thoughts.

Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.

Purifying is not the same as controlling.  If we relate to our thoughts from a place of nonjudgmental observation, they become purified, but it's not in such a direct, ego-based, cause-and-effect, “doing” way.

we seem to have agreed that we can in fact control the general subject of our thoughts.

Personally, I don't agree with this one.  I think we might temporarily exert force in trying to control our thoughts, but in the long run/bigger picture, it doesn't work.  In fact, the attempt to do this often leads to repression/suppression of thoughts/feelings, which creates further problems.

I am not convinced that by monitoring one's negative thoughts and countering with positive thoughts one is not being unconditionally loving of one's self. I do this, and I am certain that such a process does not feel unloving to me.

Matthew, it may not feel unloving, but it ultimately may be more harmful than helpful in its effects.

Also, I monitor and offer positive counter-suggestions when confronted with my children's negative thoughts (when they vocalize them). And I don't believe that I am for a second displaying anything but unconditional love to my child in the way that I do this.

It breaks my heart to hear this.  I hear your good intentions, and I have no idea about the details of your interaction with your children, so I can't really comment on that.  But as a psychotherapist, I am daily confronted with the negative consequences of people whose parents tried, with the best of intentions, to express love through dismissing, invalidating or “correcting” negative thoughts/feelings and encouraging positive ones in their child.  This is often done in subtle ways, such as, for instance, favoring certain types of expressions in the child.  The child then develops what is sometimes referred to as a “false self,” whereby all the unacceptable (e.g., negative) aspects of themselves are repressed, and the child identifies with the parentally approved/accepted (e.g., positive) aspects of themselves.  These children grow up to feel a deep, often unconscious sense of shame, because they have had to cut off from so much of their internal experience (the negative) in order to maintain their most important social connections.  They feel empty or as if there's something wrong with them, but they can't quite put their finger on it.  Alice Miller's “Drama of the Gifted Child” does a nice job of illustrating this.  These now adult children come into my office struggling with all sorts of issues – low self-esteem, eating disorders, addictions, people-pleasing, depression, anxiety, perfectionism, relationship problems, sexual dysfunction, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and the list goes on and on.  A big part of their healing comes from learning to recognize and relate lovingly to all aspects of themselves, including but not limited to the so-called negative.

In my understanding, unconditional love does not mean a blanket acceptance of everything we experience without the need for action. To the contrary, unconditional love in the face of negativity (fear, hatred, violence, jealousy, etc.) often requires the respectful and careful administration of some form of corrective or countering measure.

I agree with you that unconditional love doesn't preclude action, but I disagree that that action should be a “corrective” measure in the “countering” sense.  I think instead, as I've described in more detail above, a corrective measure might include stepping back and taking a compassionate witness stance toward our internal experiences (thoughts/feelings) – not getting “hooked” on/identified with/wallowing in them nor trying to “change” them.  The Paradoxical Theory of Change (which you can find online if you look it up) says that the way to change something, paradoxically, is to fully accept it exactly as it is.  From that place, any change that needs to happen will unfold organically as we loosen our internal knots and allow the organism to regulate itself.  Without our interference, either in the “positive” or (sometimes unconscious) “negative” direction, the organism moves toward arranging and integrating its internal workings in such a way as to lead to a higher state of wellbeing.

Tely spoke about being a compassionate witness to one's thoughts - and again, I'm sorry, but I don't understand how this concept might work when faced with dangerous negativity such as a suicidal person, or a person harboring murderous impulses.

You'd be amazed at the types of changes that happen when you can bring this sort of radical acceptance to what's going on.  I'm not saying that if someone is planning on committing a murder, we should just step back and observe.  Such an emergency situation calls for emergency, band-aid type actions.  But the long-term rehabilitation of the person entails helping them to develop a compassionate witness.  When I deal with suicidal clients, assuming that they aren't imminently suicidal, rather than trying to “counter” their suicidal ideation, I explore it with them, and holding it in a space of compassionate awareness, it transforms to something more real/less reactive, e.g., overwhelming pain, fear, shame, etc., which can in turn be transformed though holding that in a space of compassionate awareness.

If I were that (ill) person, I would hope my therapist was a compassionate witness to my thoughts and feelings, however, I can't see how advising me to be a compassionate witness to my own (negative) thoughts is going to be helpful without at the same time teaching me to monitor my thoughts and offering some form of counter programming to balance the negative thinking.

It is very important to teach people to monitor their thoughts, but by “monitor,” again, I'm talking about a nonjudgmental witnessing – not trying to “balance” the negative with positive thinking.  The balancing happens organically, on its own, if thoughts and feelings are held within this type of space.  For us to try to artificially exert effort into “balancing” the negative thoughts sets up resistance and internal conflict.

And by counter-programming, I don't mean programming designed to change my thoughts as Tely seemed to suggest - I mean simply to counter-balance them with opposing positive thoughts.

But that is changing them.

As well, I would expect that measures would need to be taken to help me to understand some possible root cause(s) of my negativity in an effort to help release me from the shackles of my past and to help me to shift my thinking into the Now where a new and positive way forward can be encouraged to take hold.

Absolutely!  This happens, too.

I hope this is helpful.  What I'm trying to describe here is a method of dealing with internal processes (e.g., thoughts or feelings) that works in the long run and takes into consideration the entire internal system, as opposed to a patch-up/band-aid solution that might sometimes feel good in the short term or might sometimes generate resistance in the short term, but that ultimately creates a deeper alienation between a person and him/herself.  A great book that addresses this stuff much better than I can is “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach.

Whew– I'm tired!  Hope you're not exhausted by reading this long post!  This took me an hour to write, and that's way more time than I thought I was going to spend here, so please forgive me if I don't continue this level of active engagement with this very juicy discussion!

OM and Tely,

Once again, thanks for your wonderful responses – a lot to take in and reflect upon. I imagine it will take me some time before I am ready to respond. (Not that your typing fingers will mind, I'm sure :-) In the meantime, Tely, thanks for the concern you expressed for my kids – my corrective attempts (as described previously) have been few and far between and exceedingly minor, really, as I have been blessed with amazing kids. During the difficult teenaged years (of which two of the three have already passed through), their actions spoke louder than words, thus, several different approaches were utilized (the notion of countering positive thoughts never even made it into the picture). Anyway, all is well – truly!

Namaste,

Mathew

OMG, OM – how'd did you get two posts in while I was writing one very short response?

OM, you said:

What I am doing is not REJECTING the negative view, but reminding it that it hasn't got the corner on Truth.

You asked me if I meant something similar when I spoke of “countering” with positive thoughts. And I believe this is what I have been trying to convey. I don't try to cancel the negative thought, or to judge it as bad, or repress it. But I will see the harmfulness of a negative thought (or more accurately stated, I have learned to identify a negative thought by the way it makes me feel. IOW, if I feel anxious, or angry, or fearful or depressed because of a particular line of thinking, I have trained myself to identify these feelings, and to very quickly review what it is precisely about the nature of the thought that is making me feel unwell. And in so doing, I will find for myself another position, a higher perspective if you will, that basically trumps the negative line of thinking. OM, you gave a few examples, or tricks as you called them that I also use from time to time. I will have to give it some thought before I find some other examples. As a very simplistic (and cliche) example, my counters are somewhat equivalent to reminding myself (or others) that the point of view that asserts the glass is half empty is just as true as the one that states the glass is half full. Personally, given the choice, I will always advocate for the glass half full approach as the other creates in me feelings of anxiety – whereas the opposite creates feelings of hope.

Like you, OM, I too am a perfectionist. Additionally, in very general terms, I learned early in life to distrust authority figures, to be wary of institutions, and to rely principally on my logic to lead me to truth. Unfortunately though, my feelings were for the most part misunderstood, ignored and left to atrophy. Thus, until my Higher Mind stepped in at age forty, and began the slow process of guiding me to heal, and to open my heart chakra (and to trust my feelings) it was a very difficult and lonely road.

Tely, I'm looking forward to a quiet span of time when I can contemplate your very thoughtful comments. I know OM mentioned this already, but I too sincerely thank you for the hour that you spent on your post!

Namaste,

Mathew

I am still reading this very insightful thread. Just want to throw in a few things that sponteinously  came up.
I agree with what  Tely calls compassionate witnessing, I call it extending my love to whatever is. However even in doing this, for instance when I feel emotional pain, to be able to extend love to that and letting  it be can be very freeing and usually the feeling changes indeed just by my loving awareness but sometimes I also experience that the emotion is going to live a life of it's own and it keeps on going. I therefore find  Om's suggestion of looking at other perspectives can also be very helpful, it's not wanting to change the emotion per se but to make a shift to another level, to make another choice.
I have some difficulty at times to find a balance in this.

Not to get off the subject but as far as young children go, I remember a book I read a copple decades ago that dealt with the psychological make up of very young children. I'm not sure if views about this are changed during the years but to me it was very helpful in relationship to my than young daughter.
It's Selma's Fraiberg's book The magic years. It offered me some interesting insights at the time.

Blessings,

Alluvja

Hi Alluvja,

Thanks for following this thread and for jumping in with your comments. I am not familiar with the book recommendation, so I can't comment. But I appreciate your perspective on Compassionate Awareness and as well on the tricks that Om cited.

I have been thinking about Tely's position vis a vis my own – Tely you are so certain of the effictiveness of your position and so certain of the “bandaid” nature of mine, I find that stimulating, and I am grateful for the views you expressed.

To begin with, I think my use of the word “control” sets off flags for you and others – and I understand why this can be so. I don't believe I am using the word in a way that carries the same meaning for you – I am certainly not meaning it in a non-loving way, such as to dominate or rule over, as a master to a slave, but in a much more indirect way, such as to reprogram the one who has the negative thoughts – in this case, myself – but to do so in a way that does not directly threaten the negative, but reinforces, or introduces the positive, meaning introducing self-love into the equation, where self-love may not have existed previously. In my case, for the most part I am speaking about thoughts that carried a negative belief in their energy, as opposed to thoughts that carried negative intent. (My own negativity never got to the level where I thought about harm to myself or others – but I did hold suffocating belief structures that held out no hope for myself). Thus, when I talk about counter measures, I am speaking about introducing thoughts to myself that carry a belief in love – in the power of love to transform even the most apparently hopeless situation. If those beliefs don't exist within a person's psyche (in any or all of their many nuances and variations), they need to be introduced. And once introduced, in order to reprogram myself, they needed to be clung to like the life raft that they were, whenever the old negative belief pattern surfaced – and in the early stages, they resurfaced often. Eventually, over time, the loving beliefs began to take hold, especially when the feelings that accompanied the dis-empowering beliefs began to recede. But it was a process, and it was not easy, and it was all done (in my case) through thought, without having the advantage of a therapist to identify the probelm and work with me. As I said, my Higher Self stepped in and took on the role of therapist, and basically reprogrammed me with Self-Love at first, and then, over time, with Love, or Compassionate Awareness for others.

When I spoke specifically about my children, I was referring to countering thoughts that were belief based, thoughts that countered those that were conditioned by a society that is largely fear based and negative in its vibration; thoughts that reflect the belief that if something doesn't happen immediately, it will never happen; thoughts that don't believe in hard work and dedication in pursuit of a passion, regardless of the negative judgments that society may place on those passions– especially when they are foreign to the status quo. Thus, when my kids use the word “never” in a sentence having to do with their loving desires, I will point out what they have said, and remind them that they (or anyone for that matter) do not know enough about the workings of the Universe to make proclamations that something will never happen. I have also been prone to interrupt my children when they use the word “hate” – like, “I hate this”, or “I hate that” – hate is a very strong word, and carries a highly charged negative vibration – truly, IMO, it is misused more often then not! 

(These, of course, are simple little examples that come to mind, and I'm sure there are many more – I guess the main point is, given the deep dark hole that I climbed out of, I am very sensitive to beliefs that disempower.)

IMO, negativity is nothing more than an absense of one or several aspects of love. Thus, when I experience this lack, I try my best to bring the missing component of love into awareness, and I hold it there (in my thoughts) until the feelings created by the lack of love dissipate.

I also believe thoughts are energy. And I believe negative thoughts are damaging to ourselves and others. We may not see the connection, but I know in my heart it is there. I believe that negaitve thoughts, left unchecked, can create physical illnesses – in some cases terminal illnesses. Therefore, the most expedient way to replace those thoughts with love is something that I am most interested in. Incidentally, although this opinion of mine has been held for many years, after the fact I became acquainted with the work of Masaru Emoto – very interesting work that seems not only to suggest the power of thought , but also the beautiful power of loving thought (and words) and the harmful effect of unloving thoughts and words. Have a look at what the word hate does to a frozen water crystal – it basically blows the crystal apart!

Okay, well – thanks for listening. Those are my thoughts for now. I'll probably double back and offer a few more later. (I know I want to explore the concept of “purifying” one's thoughts a little more – just can't do it right now).

Namaste,

Mathew

I have to admit, I did not read all the complete posts here, OM. But I got the gist of the extraordinary discussion of such a wise group of people. Seems I've been recently immersed in the study of negative thought. I've been practicing with it sometimes, or giving into it or fighting it. They are beings in their own right. I found them impossible for me NOT to think them. And I could feel how my surrender to them gave them life and energy. When I applied love to them or spiritual practices like chanting or prayer, they stepped outside my energy field for a while but they are strong and even the opposite emotion of love seemed to somehow feed them…but I found the best way to not give them life…my life…was to ignore them when they came up. Not engage them with emotion or recognition. Just let them come and go without acknowleging them. Now, it's now easy and they will come back stronger to get your attention, but if you can let them drift by without an emotional charge they eventually keep moving on…I suspect on to someone else.

I'm still practicing, but this is what I'm finding.

By surrender, I meant acknowledge them with an emotional charge. I agree with you.  Negative and positive are only that by our experience and it's when we emotionally or experientially connect with a thought do we decide it to be negative or positive. Being human (right now, anyway), it's hard not to feel a thought, it being such a powerful entity. I think it's really about what we learn from the encounter. Even a negative thought can have a positive influence on us if it affects change or evolves us. So, in that way we can transmute negative into positive…or the other way around. It's always up to us..

Hi Glynnda, Om and others,

I just wanted to throw in a bit more about what Glynnda said”

“When I applied love to them or spiritual practices like chanting or prayer, they stepped outside my energy field for a while but they are strong and even the opposite emotion of love seemed to somehow feed them”

I understand very well what you're saying because I've been there too and many times I still go there. But I'm learning something else.  I think Om already mentioned the importance of nonjudgement and this is what I mean when I say I extend my love.  I don't feel Love is the opposite of whatever negative emotions we have, but rather  Love is and has an inherent quality that rises above dualities like good or bad, it is All Inclusive and therefore we don't need to apply love, I don't even think we can apply love. To me this is still in the realm of fixing something.

About the transmutive thing. I just got an interesting Abraham Hicks quoate this morning, it's a bit out of contex perhaps this way, but I believe still carries enough power for the message to come through in this contex:

The contrast produces the desire within you, and the Universe expands as a result of it. The only question is, the question that we want so much to answer is, are you letting it in? Are you letting yourself experience the benefit of your precious focus and your vast experience in the here and now? ”

Ah well, just felt called to add my little thing here.
Love and hugs.

You guys gave me alot to think about. i’ve been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. My mind wonders all over the place but it has helped me to actually be my own thought police just so that I can get things done in a timely manner. I take meds and it helps to focus. When i don’t it’s harder to remember things. But the topic was as I try to focus here on not letting destructive thoughtsmake me feel as if it’s wrong for thinking them but realizing that I don’t have to act on them? With time calmness and love will surface? It does sound to me like conditioning. It’s where I would likemy mind to go. Into the calm and joy of being.

ED

I am what I am. So thank you O.M. for the input. I do want to comment on some of the things some of caused me to think about. One is that I believe dwelling on a topic causes brainstorming. Creativity brought about by concentrating on a topic. Secondly, bad thoughts or negative thoughts. I beleive that to be relative to a certain point of view. I mean what sounds negative to me may be a positive for someone else. An example would be how some people now days blow themselves up to kill others and believe they are doing a noble and just thing. I on the other hand have a different point of view on that matter. I read once from a contemporay that there is no such thing as good or evil simply a balance in the universe. I can’t prove to myself that this is a true statement but it is a comforting one for me. Third, what Tele said about the way many of her troubledclientsgrew up believing that certain things where wrong in the way they think causing guilt and grew up dysfunctional. I think I’m one of them so that was an intersting read for me. Thank you Tely. Please continuethis thread many of you are very wise and I am realy enjoying myself reading your ideas.

Ed

Hello, I would like to add something as it arrives here from experience. Of the mind the question is to me is do we think with our minds? or for our minds?of which I would add the third one of. To think as your mind, as a piece of the cosmos, to be as what your mind is organically. Not to the thoughts created, or the observations of thoughts, but as the mind is and all that it is connected to. There in to me the negative thought is part of the positive as are the atoms that make up the mind and that when balanced and embraced the different sides combine to a greater whole and purpose.
 In religious terms it is to remember that the devil was once an angel as difficult as that may be, but loved deeply enough the devil, no matter how negative, may just grow his wings again and if not then at least you are not bound to a path by spitefulness and arrogance at not getting what you want..
Thanks